Sexual Desire - What Exactly Do We Feel And Why

We all use this term “sexual desire”. But what exactly do we mean by that, what do we actually feel? Are we even sure that we all talking about the same thing? According to researches in the field of human sexuality, people have very different definitions about what sexual desire is.

For instance, the most common opinion that female equivalent of an erection is vaginal lubrication. It could be a quite shock for most men and even for some women that genital lubrication is not necessarily indicate female sexual desire. A woman can get wet easily when she is not sexually aroused, it changes with the menstrual cycle and it is not a meaningful measure of sexual desire in a woman. On the other hand, women can experience strong sexual desire even when physical signs like genital lubrication and swelling are not present. Most women would agree that they have trouble getting excited when they are feeling unattractive and sexually aroused when they are feeling connected to their partners and loved by them.

However women’s tastes varied widely in what exactly turn a woman on. Some women find the male body odor attractive, other repulsive. Some women turn on by a man’s physical appearance, other find it absolutely irrelevant and aroused by evidence of talent and intelligence, for example watching a man negotiating a business deal or delivering a great speech. Common opinion that a woman’s libido is slowed down by unhappiness, anxiety or anger, but some women use sex to lift them out of a bad mood or stressful situation.

Studies have showed that male sexual desire is not only stronger than women’s, but also more constant from hour to hour, day to day. Women are likelier to fantasize about sex, masturbate, initiate sex and even subconsciously wear provocative clothing around ovulation than at any other time of the month. It makes good Darwinian sense, that women are more vigorous while they are fertile.

Age, of course, has huge influence on both male and female sexual desire. For both men and women age means decreased sexual desire. But it is not just about hormones. Sexual desire and satisfaction may be decreased by stress at work or home, serious illness, depression and alcohol abuse. Life circumstances, emotional and physical health, personal perception about sexuality influence sexual desire at any age.